Becoming Domestic

This weekend I paid a visit to my remarkable friend Jane who lives on Skomer Island, Pembrokeshire (a large rock in the Atlantic ocean just off the coast of south western Wales).

Jane won’t mind me saying that I was completely humbled by seeing where she lives with her young daughter Martha and her partner Juan.

They are incredible people to chose to live in such a remote location. Juan has held the position of Skomer’s resident warden for about nine years while Jane has lived there with him for the past four. They are the only permanent residents on the island but even they are forced to evacuate due to severe weather during the winter months.

It is a stunning environment which cannot be imagined. Sheer cliffs all around, no trees or shrubs, thousands of bluebells and pink campion creating a lilac carpet, many thousands of sea birds noisily making Skomer their chosen breeding ground as there are few predators (such as rats), huge numbers of burrows made by puffins, Manx sheerwaters and rabbits make the island’s surface feel like one could fall the whole way down to sea level if a wrong foot is placed (hence strict rules of only being able to tread on the footpaths).

I’ve known in principal, since Jane moved to Skomer, that everything they consume must be brought on to the island by hand but only by my visiting and negotiating the steep coastal path down to the boat jetty which takes day visitors and volunteers to the island and then up the very steep steps having disembarked from the boat am I able to really comprehend what this means. The milk, the sausages, the coffee we enjoyed during our visit were all carried in this way and more likely than not by the only free hand which was not carrying Martha.

Jane I’m totally awestruck by where and how you live. No wonder you felt compelled to write your book (Skomer Island by Jane Matthews). The most amazing thing is how little you’ve grumbled about the hardships to me over the past few years. I can’t imagine how cold it must have been with no heating in March nor how you can bear it when you have to get more supplies in or take bottles back to the mainland. Please grumble more from now on and I’ll try my best to never moan about my very easy life…

I’ve made a vow to myself to return again to Skomer as soon as I can as our trip there was sadly curtailed by the prediction of strong winds potentially making the boat stop running. I’ve also vowed to NEVER moan about having to carry bags of shopping up our drive way or feeling a bit chilly when the central heating oil is running a bit low.

We are very excited because Big Bertha has finally joined the family. She is a twelve year old, 5-berth, Coachman touring caravan with peach soft furnishings a small shower/loo and a great kitchenette.

A while back we started wondering whether we should get a ‘van as we love taking the children away but did not want the expense or hassle of going abroad. Bealers loves surfing, the kids and I love playing on the beach and so the hunt was on for something that would fit all of us in relative comfort, was clean and tidy inside and was within our budget of under £5k.

Amazingly for us we did not have to search very far as the local caravan dealer had Bertha on the forecourt back in February. To our untrained eye she looked in very fine condition (I was quite sure the shower room or toilet has not been used much if at all as it was spotlessly clean) - the seats were reupholstered in modern(ish) beige floral chintz, it had a rear ‘dinette’ which converted into a single bunk bed and a double bed WITH a sliding door to contain the children after their bedtime, a wee fridge, an actual gas oven, a grill, a three hob burner, gas fire with extra blowers, a fold down shelf to park a tv on, plenty of cupboard space and even a wardrobe.

We were smitten and paid a deposit of £200. She also came with a 12 month warranty from the dealer and went off for her inspection & fixing of anything which needed fixing soon after (a cupboard catch was broken, the sliding door of the kids’ bedroom was coming off the rails).

Bealers attended the Camping & Caravanning Club’s one day ‘Manoeuvering Course’ which gave him loads of practice of reversing a van round steep corners.

Collection day was scheduled for Friday which meant a full 90 minute handover by the caravan technician. He asked us what level of knowledge and experience we had about touring caravans and we admitted it was absolutely zero other than the crumb of knowledge we had picked up from pouring over my father in-law’s caravan magazines. He showed us where to attached the fresh water tank next to the caravan and how to put the pump in, how to let the water taps in both the kitchen and bathroom run to expel any air bubbles, how to attach gas bottles, the electricty supply (or battery), how the fridge locks when travelling and how it can run on both gas or electricity.

I made copious notes and got very excited about the prospect of pitching up at endless scenic places with our buckets and spades (and surfboard) this summer and with a bit of luck for many more in future years.

Our first trip is planned for next weekend when we are travelling about 20 minutes away from here into the Forest of Dean where we have a pitch reserved by the River Wye at Symmonds Yat. Apparently it is very lovely which is great but we are really just using the weekend as a training exercise to practice putting the awning up, attaching all the pipes and hoses to the right orrifice and making sure our caravanning essentials checklist has everything on it we need and not too much more as travelling with minimum weight is of major importance when towing a caravan.

The cost of Bertha should be negated when we’ve taken approximately three week-long holidays and several weekends away instead of spending money on hotels and aeroplanes.

Last night I wrote a page of Caravanning Essentials, things we think we’ll need to take with us when we go caravanning with the 1996 5 berth Coachman Oasis touring caravan we are buying from nearby Country Choice Caravans.

We’ve just got back from a lovely Easter break to Criccieth, North Wales where we stayed in an overtly luxury static caravan at the lake & beach edge of the Haven Holiday park and while we were there we listed the things we’d forgotten to bring and wished we had or things that we need we’d like to have with us because the lovely lady who owned the static had supplied us with them.

For us buying a caravan and all its kit (awning, waste water container, fresh water container, tow bar) will be a massive investment. To be honest we’re not entirely sure we’ll find caravanning with two small loud nutty people a truely relaxing kind of holiday, but we figured that as we are lucky enough to live so near to Wales and other interesting, scenic, rural idylls we should make the most of not having to spend huge sums of money on getting away to nice places and the opportunities of doing fun things together.

We’ve booked Bealers in for a one-day ‘towing & hitching your caravan course run by the Camping & Caravannning Club in a couple of weeks and we are crossing our fingers tightly that we’ll be able to get the new ‘van up our steep muddy drive on a very sharp bend in a busy road as if not we’ll have to find some nearby expensive storage for Big Bertha and all her pink satinette interior furnishings…

Tonight we ate: Pork and cider (one can of medium dry) casserole with carrots, onion, celery (whole plant chopped very finely) and parsnips cooked in the oven with jacket potatoes.

Kids ate: Rice krispies and cornflakes as we’d had no milk at breakfast time and the LOVE their cereal. Fairly often I let them have it for their tea as it is easy for me, comforting for them - all that milk and stodge just before bed, high in protein and carbs but low in sugar.

For lunch I ate: Cold roast lamb brought back in a tuppaware from Wales marinated in welsh mint sauce (well done Bealers for that one), new potatoes and salad.

While on our little holiday we ate: Spicy, beany, tomatoey, sausage casserole; roast lamb with ever trimming under the sun; dauphinoise potatoes. The best bit is I don’t remember lifting a finger apart from when it came to having to eat as good old Bealers shopped, chopped and cooked the lot. Er, thank you Bealers.