Becoming Domestic

Top 10 Ways to Begin a Downshifted Existence:

Some of the ideas below could help people to feel less hurried, less rushed and less stressed.

See also the recent post ‘Thoughts on Downshifting Two years On‘ for more about the ideas behind Downshifting as a lifestyle choice

1. Become very well acquainted with your finances in order to see where your money goes.
- Examine fixed payments (rent, mortgage, insurance policies, mobile phone contracts) to see if there are any you could live without or reduce. We moved from a London house with a large monthly mortgage to a cheaper rented house in the country. We also said goodbye to several surplus insurance policies, renegotiated mobile phone contracts.
- Identify regular but not fixed payments too to see where savings could be made (eg. the weekly food shop, weekly purchases of magazines or newspapers, visits to the beauty salon, a twice weekly cleaner, eating out or buying take-aways, presents for others)
- Using an online banking facility helped enormously as one is able to download the month’s transactions and the can assign categories for expenditure to help identify areas to spend less on.
2. Identify areas of your spending to reduce with little impact on your overall lifestyle
- I gave up magazines, newspapers and book buying before leaving London as I was horrified to discover how much each year I was spending on them. I now am a regular at the local library for the latest read, they also have a magazine swap box which I use (added benefit being I don’t have piles of old mags cluttering up my life). I also swap magazines with a friend and have a wish list on Amazon.co.uk which I point family towards when they ask me if there is anything I’d like for Christmas. I also stopped buying lunch each day and took nice salads or leftovers instead, reduced spending on things I didn’t need (more clothes and shoes), avoided advertising and window shopping.

3. Stop over committing.
- There is a modern-day trend for packing each and every day full of interesting and stimulating activities. We socialise far more than our parents or grandparents ever did, we have access to oodles more culture (film, theatre, galleries, live shows, sporting events) and endless interesting places to ‘experience’ if we so want to.
- It is now being debated whether lack of actual down-time, relaxation and ‘just being’ is not only a symptom of the hectic way we live our lives today but also a cause of the endemic stress related disorders and general malaise so many people are complaining of.
- Even kids are not immune from the jam packed calendar commitments. Some of the five year old peers of my two eldest children are coming out of the classroom obviously spent and exhausted from the strain of having concentrated all day long, having being in a social situation from breakfast time until late afternoon but then are whisked off to ballet lessons, swimming, drama or music lessons.
- A calendar which is too full of nice sounding things can leave little time for self-admin, to do those little jobs which make one feel in control of ones own life. It can leave folks feeling tired and that they are rushing from one commitment to another.
- Now that I’ve got three kids - one of whom is a tiny baby, a house to run and a part-time role in our growing business I realise that if I say ‘Yes’ to doing more than two extra things (lunch/coffee with a friend) per week then something vital has to slip. I now allow myself just Wednesday and Thursday mornings to do something other than house, job, kids. None of my kids are signed up for swimming, piano, ballet etc as I truely believe they would be irratible and unhappy to do anymore than they already are (going to school and being at home playing with their toys or in the garden).
4. Write down some life goals - both personal and family ones.
-What do you wish you could achieve? What do you want to do in the coming year, by the time five years are up and by the time you reach retirement age?
- Its easy to let the days slip by without doing anything towards the things we like doing claiming we are too busy or too tired yet acutally many goals could probably completed with ease if we just spent a few 30 minute sessions working towards them every so often. By writing goals down you are able to remind yourself at a glance of the things that are really important and personal to you which enables you to keep them as a priority.
My husband recently jotted down his life goals and also commented on how much progress he had made towards satisfying them. Make a regularish date with yourself, your partner/family members to discuss finances/goals.
5. Give up News
- During the last few months of living in London I came across a lovely website called ‘Happy Family‘ which was a simple site dedicated to describing a downshifted family’s overall lifestyle. The owner of the site recommended giving up reading/listening to and watching news. I had just recently worked out that despite getting on the Central Line tube each morning relatively upbeat and positive I was getting off at my destination in a depressed, troubled mood and it was due to the awful stories I was reading each day in the free London newspaper. It resonated with me when Happy Family’s author Sheila spelt out that news stories were generally feeding off other people’s misery and were about things we have no influence over. She believes there is little to be gained from digesting news in its varying formats and much to be gained from giving it up. I stopped listening to Radio 4 in the morning, started reading interesting books or wrote on the journey into the City and made a point of walking away from the tv when news programs were on. I no longer feel overwhelmed by all the nasty things happening in the world. If I want facts on something which interests me I can use the internet or share opinions with friends and family.
6. Have at least one No Television day per week
- On the evenings that I watch tv (only usually when I have my mum staying with me as she loves a bit of telly) the period of time between the three children all being in bed and my bedtime (10ish) seems to whiz by with nothing being done almost to the point of being erased. In contrast, the evenings where I don’t even enter the front room I usually manage to get some writing done, catch up on emails, enjoy a nice meal and a chat with Bealers, put a load of washing on and do some reading or gardening before a quick shower.

7. Go for a walk
- Even a five or ten minute stroll for the sake of a walk can help reduce stress, make one see things with better clarity, notice small beautiful detail in the environment around you, takes you away from your normal surroundings, allows you space and time to just be, gets blood pumping through your body and oxygenates your brain. Walks are nice and good. They help to slow & simplify the way you live. If you work in an office take 15 minutes each lunchtime and go for a walk in a direction you’ve never explored before. Vary your route to work if you can too as your brain wakes up when stimulated by seeing the new.

8. Do some cooking
- Have a list of easy to cook meals you enjoy eating as well as making and add the ingredients to your shopping list. Cooking from scratch is tastier, better for you as you generally don’t add preservatives or artificial colours or flavours to home cooked food. It is usually cheaper than a pre-prepared alternative and you can always make a bit extra to enjoy for lunch the following day.

9. Grow a vegetable plant
- Tomatoes are the easiest by far and provided you water them throughout the summer will reward you with luscious bowls of tasty fruits in August and September. I’m pretty sure it was the three tomato plants given to me in 2004 and again in 2005 which made me begin to wonder what it would be like to have a garden bigger than a postage stamp and more time to enjoy such a space and ultimately initiated our descision to move out of our urban home to rural surroundings.

10. Get enough sleep
- Life always seems more better when a good night’s sleep has been had. In an effort to cram more into our days we are in danger of forgetting that our body’s need total rest in order to function well and make us resilient to whatever comes our way. Brains have such a lot to deal with during the day it is kind to go to bed on time each night and wake up before the alarm clock feeling refreshed and happy.

Downshifting is cool. Downshifting is fun. Downshifting allows you to feel removed from the so-called rate race, less like an aimless automaton running on empty, living for weekends and holidays and more in control of your own time on this planet. Good luck.

Posted on April 29th, 2008 under Downshifting • RSS 2.0 feed • Leave a response, or trackback