Teaching kids what to do when they get lost
This is obviously one of every parent’s worst living-nightmares. I can make myself cry just by thinking about this happening.
A fortnight ago I went to meet my ninety four year old Grandma off the train from Weymouth in Bristol Temple Meads train station which is pretty big with thirteen platforms. Prior to our previous rendez-vous in October I had reminded her of the policy for her to stay put if she alighted from the train and I wasn’t there to meet her. This time I had forgotten to reinforce this and due to a mix up of late trains arriving at wrong platforms I was waiting on platform 11 with a pre-booked wheelchair and friendly station staff to push her while she got off the train at platform 8 and wanderered off and out of the train station trying to find me (she actually ended up in a taxi but luckily we fouond her before she whizzed off into rainy Bristol).
It made me think that I hadn’t told my kids recently of my personal preferred procedures to follow if they ever get seperated from us or the people looking after them.
- They are to stand still the minute they realise we are not with them & to know we will be looking for them the minute we realise they are not with us
- They are to shout our name (not ‘Mummy’) as everyone is called mummy.
- I am not embarrased to shout their names loudly the minute they might be lost (very easy when they are small in a shop full of people and rails of clothes). Usually I very quickly hear a ‘Yeah?’ when I call them.
- They are not to go with anyone who tells them they can help find their mummy. They are to say ‘No, I’m not allowed to go anywhere with strangers. My mummy/daddy will find me her.’
- If they see me over the other side of the road they are not to cross but to wait for me to see them. It will help if they shout and wave.
- I do have a couple of wrist bands with my mobile phone number on but since we left London I haven’t used them
I generally am on full red-alert whenever I’m out of the house with my children and constantly ask them to hold the trolley/pram, or my hand and if they aren’t I’m always looking to see where they are and telling them to stay with me as I can’t look after them if they aren’t close. It’s well worth the effort and peace of mind
March 29th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I’m so glad you’re the mother of my children
xx
April 1st, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Hi Cathie,
Glad to see all’s going well.
I’m with you with the teching the kids what to do if lost.
Some things we do about every couple of months is to act out different scenerios…it’s more about ‘Stranger Danger’ really.
I tell them if anyone asks that mummy or daddy sent them to fetch them for us, they are to shout ‘Stranger Danger’ at the top of their lungs…they have to practise this too.
i some times get them to sit or stand as they would naturally, then i’ll come by and drag them by surprise (not hard of course but enough to make them aware), again they are to shout ‘Stranger Danger’
Again, the dangers of cars and vans pulling up by the side of them, bot to talk, just to run quickly…these ituations are rare, but still I try to think of the main tactics nasty opportunists take.
After a session like this we all cuddle, talk about that the chances of such things happening are rare, but being prepared is helpful.
I know that some parents would be horrified by my doing this and that it would disturb, the children, I’ve not found it to be so, they play happily as children should but are more aware of dangers.
They’ve found when children have been made aware of dangers they are less likely to have trouble from such quarters.
And to be honest, children would be more horrified if something did happen, and not be prepared, than to have to act out, something that may not happen, IYSWIM
If going to a place where large crowds are, eg themepark, then I write my mobile on a card, or wrist band and give it to them all.
better to be safe than sorry, paranoid I may be , but rahter than, that than living with blinkered eyes and saying it wont ever happen to me.
CJ x
April 1st, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Wow CJ - thanks so much for this comment. I’m going to steal all your stranger danger role playing ideas with my kids as I do believe you are right to teach them. It is well worth knowing a pre-determined thing to call out to alert people. I used to be in a business continuity / crisis management role in my investment banking days and the key to having people know what to do if an emergency ever arises is practice, practice, practice as well as keeping the topic fresh in their mind.
Thanks!
April 5th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
We have similar procedures to you. So far we’ve never needed to put them to the test and I hope we never will.
Similarly to CJ, when we’re out and about in large crowds, I give the kids one of my business cards for their pockets. It has my mobile on it (which I circle). We don’t “practice”, but regularly talk about what to do in different situations.
You are an excellent writer Cathie and you should castigate Darren for not shouting about your site from the rooftops!
Regards,
Rob…
April 8th, 2008 at 10:30 am
A very good set of strategies and very similar to what we use.
I also have a list of safe people they can talk to if they get lost (in order of preference) - standing still and shouting for me is obviously the first route to take:
- a policeman or woman in uniform (and I regularly point them out so they are familiar with the modern uniform, not the old fashioned style you get in many picture books/children’s tv shows)
- a member of staff who stands BEHIND the counter or till in a shop.
- someone who is obviously a mummy, i.e. has young children with her, is pushing a pushchair.
I do think they need to have the concept of safe adults as well as the concept of not going anywhere with strangers. Not much point of having your mobile number on them if they then won’t let any adult approach them to help them use it.
April 9th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
I have pretty much the same set of ’safe’ people as you
As you rightly point out, if no adult can approach them, then their would be no use in phone numbers.
CJ