Becoming Domestic

A week ago today I was looking forward to telling the children that we were expecting a new baby brother or sister for them in early September. We hadn’t told many people about the pregnancy as I was keen to find out that it wasn’t twins again before sharing the joyous news. We’d held off telling many people despite my all-day morning sickness and overwhelming fatigue since December and were really looking forward to telling our parents that they were going to be grandparents again and that this time it would be less arduous as (fingers crossed) only one bairn would be arriving.

I took the sickness to be a sign that everything was progressing as expected so had a really bad shock when the sonogrpher broke it to us at our 12-week scan that she was ‘afraid I don’t have good news for you’ and the little bean had expired the previous week without my body realising.

A whirlwind of hospital appointments and weeping followed and then I was home again to look after the twins and to tell my mum. I wasn’t going to say anything to the kiddies but then remembered that I have a general policy of not lying to them and telling them in straightforward language the ways of the world when they enquire.

Mo kept asking me if my tummy was better (we’d told him I’d gone to hospital so the doctor could take a look at it) and in the end I took a deep breath and explained that there had been a tiny baked bean sized baby growing in my stomach but that it had been poorly and had died. They both started crying claiming that they wanted a baaaaaby but 30 seconds later were fine and asking what was for tea.

It felt much much better being straightforward with them and if I’m ever pregnant again I’ve vowed not to hold off telling close friends and family (especially my mum) as they miss out on the exciting anticipation and besides its too much of a struggle coping with the first trimester in secret when all you want to do is go to bed with a bag of fizzy sweets.

Tiny Footprints on a Mother’s Heart

When a baby arrives,
be it for a day, a month, a year or more,
or perhaps only a sweet flickering moment-
the fragile spark of a tender soul
the secret swell of a new pregnancy
the goldfish flutter known to only you-
you are unmistakeningly changed…
the tiny footprints left behind on your heart
bespeak your name as Mother.

The Miscarriage Association

This time last year we were using some of my City bonus to book a Beale family holiday for some urgent winter-sun in Lanzarote, one of the Spanish Canary Islands.

We did have a wonderful time but it was tremendously expensive and if the weather had been poor we would have been hard pressed to find interesting things to do with the 3 year olds as the bulk of our time was (fortunately) spent by the pool or at the beach.

Like many families in the UK the beginning of the year involves some planning of time out and happily due to my husband’s hard work with his internet software business, Siftware, and general year-long thriftiness we are again in the lucky position to be able to take a little time out with the children and have a one week family holiday before summer.

This year however, since massively increasing our environmental awareness and our family’s impact on the earth’s environment, neither Bealers or myself were keen on flying anywhere.

We both love the UK and figured that we could probably save money and not be responsible for air fuel burning by having a UK based holiday instead. The only slight drawback with holidays in this country is that you have to enjoy being cold unless you are ok with taking your holidays exclusively in July/August or September.

As Bealers needed a very well earned break sooner rather than later we investigated Center Parcs holiday centres which looked very inviting for families with small children like us with their 400 or so acres of car-free woodland with self-contained, self-catering, log-cabin style accomodation all centered around a central ’sub-tropical swimming zone + village area’.

There seem to be hundreds of child friendly activities to get involved in if we want to (additional costs though) such as horse riding, owl watching, pizza making, belly dancing, football as well as outdoor water-based pursuits for Daddy (windsurfing, sailing). We’re presuming that the on-site restaurants will be poor as I’ve read a few reviews on Mumsnet and will bring some supplies with us rather than relying on the shop. Bealers will most probably enjoy having the time to cook and as he’s a far better cook than me I’m defintely looking forward to a break from dinner duty.

Everyone we know who has visited Center Parcs seems to have come away with positive things to say about their experience so we have booked a 1 week stay in the Lake District Center Parc, 2 bedroom house and are looking forward to a 7 days of car-free cycling, swimming and yes, the occasional 3 hours where the kids are both enjoying some kiddie club action (messy play, dressing up as super heros, that kind thing), and potentially some super-indulgent spa/treatment time for me. Gosh I now realise that we’re going to come home very rosy-cheeked indeed with all that exercise!

According to The Obsever’s ethical columnist Lucy Siegle who recently appeared on the BBC Radio 2 Chris Evan’s show with her tips for green holidaying: “Centre Parcs are very ecologically and ethically sound, and they do great and affordable family holidays, for short and longer breaks. They encourage constructive physical activities and no one drives on site – everyone cycles or walks. It’s relaxed and enjoyable.”

I’m really hoping that spring will have started to have sprung in Cumbria when we go as forest life with daffodils out, birds tweeting and buds emerging will almost certainly make us feel just as great if not even better than our week in the Canary Islands and like a great wintery weight has been lifted.

Despite the fact that I truely hate being cold, the kids and I have discovered this winter that we really like visiting beaches when it’s super cold (but sunny) as they are always deserted and it feels so wonderful to have so much open space & light all around us.

Yesterday we visited deserted Weston-super-Mare beach while Bealers was doing some business in the town centre. We had such a great time chasing the waves, swinging seaweed around and generally shouting as loud as we could, drawing in the sand and playing underneath the pier (admitedly had to keep a beadie eye out for naughty piles of doggy dirt though).

Luckily I’d packed a huge bag of spare clothes for each child but actually wished I’d packed more as poor Edie’s wellies were full of seawater by the time we left and so she was in stocking’d feet for the rest of the day I also hadn’t anticipated them getting so wet that even their underwear needed changing on such a bitterly cold day. Next time I will take 3 sets of dry clothes for the kids and an extra pair for me too. I was also glad for the sugary cereal bars & fruit juices I’d brought with us as an energy boost was definitely needed after the adrenalin had dried up and the chills set in.

A few weeks ago we found ourselves on Swansea/Mumbles beach - again with very few people to share it with. Both kids are now lobbying hard for us to move to either Weston or Swansea so we can have some daily beach action! They think of both places as paradise on Earth.

My kids are very privileged to be involved in my very best friend’s wedding celebrations in March to be held in her local village and then at big ol’ Berkeley Castle. Her fiance is Italian and his family are all very classy so it makes absolute sense that us Brits are to show them a proper tying the knot celebration complete with four little children as beautiful bridesmaids and pageboy. Coming from a very small family I’m a little misty eyed just looking at the photos of our dress fitting as I don’t anticipate many other invitations to wear such beautiful clothes at such a momentous occasion again (although Aunty Becky or Unkie Dan may put me straight on this matter…).

We all had such a lovely time in Bristol trying on fancy frocks and meeting the other two bridesmaids. Hopefully Morris’s threat of going ‘Rahhh at people’ as he follows Aunty Madders & GB down the aisle will not happen after all. It was so lovely to spend a few hours with Madders’ parents & Nancy who I haven’t seen for ages and ages. We are so looking forward to the grand event. Just hope that my two manage to keep themselves looking pristine until after the wedding photos have been taken!

We listened to the local radio station to hear the long list Worcestershire schools who were unable to open due to to overnight snow & the kids were thrilled when they finally heard the name of their pre-school.

The kiddies and their Daddy wolfed down some steamy porrdige and Horlicks before making an enormous snow woman with leeky pigtails. Bealers then left for his very picturesque walk to work.

I’ve become a bit of a Mumsnet addict what with all the quality comment (often hilarious) from other parents on a wide variety of interesting topics.

This thread is definitely worthy of posting here as it helps work out lots of easy ways to green ones life with particular regard to having small kiddies or babies. (http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2422&threadid=272911&stamp=070204213208)

This thread has plenty of general household green tips which I love!
(especially chop Ecover dishwasher tablets in half, get a mooncup, turn the thermostat down, soapnuts are fab)

(http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?rn=77672&topicid=2422&threadid=251930&redir=77672)

As many readers will know I’m not one for splashing the cash these days and have therefore managed to put off the day when I took my kiddies to the local soft play centre ‘Having a Ball’ in Malvern for the 7 months since we relocated here from London. This was partly my daughter’s doing as she has taken the same 7 months to finally reach the last square on a 30 piece sticker chart (one sticker for each night that she managed to stay in her own bed instead of waking me up, sneaking into mine and requiring eviction during the wee hours - no fun in freezing winter, do the math I’ve had 30 good nights’ sleep in approx 200 days no wonder I look so ropey!). She was always promised (cajoled, begged, pleaded too) that the day she reached the final square would be the day we would visit the soft play place…

On the way to the centre the kids were telling me that they hoped it would be as good as the soft play centre in Leytonstone we used to go to as it had ball ponds, a slide and a bouncy bit. WELL little did we know that Having A Ball in Malvern was about 300 times the size in every dimension and that grown ups are allowed in and that they had a vast sea of tables and chairs for parents to sit at if they needed a break from sweaty soft play. A cafe, huge clean toilets with kiddie loos and kiddie wash basins. I was in heaven and have realised that it is actually very reasonabley priced as for £5 for both children I didn’t see them for about 2 hours apart from them waving from the dizzy heights of the warehouse ceiling and could take my trusty laptop next time and get a great chunk of work done.

They came out rosy cheeked, well exercised and delerious with joy especially as one of their classmates had turned up unexpectedly. We all loved it and can now see why friends of mine take their small twins each week for some kids play safely while parent read papers.