Becoming Domestic

A letter from our local rag (Worcester Gazette)caught my eye…

John Brayne from Redditch wrote:

“I felt the need to write regarding the huge financial burden placed on financially hard-pressed parents.

A new trend since the days of my sensible schooling is to have the school logo on each of the items that the children need.

Asda and Tesco both sell sensibly priced school uniforms, which unfortunately for most parents in Redditch are unsuitable because it seems the schools have latched on to a good money-making idea.

At a time when we are being encouraged like never before to recycle almost everything because this planet’s resources are becoming ever more scarce and global warming is never more evident, surely it’s high time this money-makng idea was scrapped althogether so more of the items can be recycled.

I was offered a purple book bag by my nieces, nothing wrong with it apart from my daughter attends Vaynor school and the book bag on offer had Oakhill splashed all over it!

If the schools really don’t want parents to believe that they are ripping us off then why not have the common sense to introduce iron-on or stitch-on logos. These would easily be transferable year in year out.

Another initiative they could  show is to introduce the same colour uniforms to all first schools, then maybe a different colour for all middle schools and so on.

People with older children in the family who attend different schools would then be able to put redundant school items to good use for their other children.

If any other financially hard-pressed parents want to get in touch about this so that we can start campaigning against this unfair system please feel free to do so.”

13 Northside Close
Oakenshaw
Redditch

A tip from my mum who cannot eat a full portion of fish and chips and lives on her own: ‘Recycle them!’. She puts them in the fridge and then the following day spreads the chips and battered fish out on a baking tray and heats for about 20 mins on a high oven setting.

I tried it today as had a few left over chips from last night’s fish and chip supper (big treat). Popped them into a tupperware last night, took them out again at midday (beware - they look really pale and insipid when chilled) and then reheated them for the kids lunch.

Wow! What a cool tip. The kids loved them and I had a minimal effort lunch (I gave them some quiche and salad too). Well done Nana.

Instead of throwing away all the flyers and brochures that come through the door we put them in a box and almost every other day one or both of the kids ask to do cutting and sticking.

While they are randomly chopping and hacking through pieces of card or magazines I quietly cut various pictures out and stick them in a tuppaware box. We then have a ready supply of little pictures to choose from when we want to make someone a birthday card.

Another tip I was given is to give each young child a roll of masking tape to play with and to practice cutting they can be shown to stick the end of the tape to the table, to wind it out a bit and then cut it with the scissors.

I was also given the tip that if you don’t want the kids to practice hairdressing or chopping up your address book you should stay near them to supervise while they are using scissors!

My kids are still wearing open toe sandals and summer clothes yet the local village Co-op store has half an aisle dedicated to Christmas paraphenalia: cards, selection boxes and of course must-have stockings for dogs & cats!

Why isn’t it obvious to everyone that the alleged ‘need’ to buy loads of gifts, decorations, cards and rich food at Christmas is really a huge conspiracy by the retail industry to have us hand over more of our hard earned money to them?

Don’t get me wrong I really love the festive season. I love the family get togethers, the pretty evergreen, the singing and the sense of anticipation but it does sadden me when I think of Oxford St. in London packed out with miserable people spending time and money in shops for friends and relatives who really don’t want or need most of the clutter they are going to be given. I also hate the frivolous waste of resources in packaging.

A while back I found this website which has some great ideas for making home made things for Christmas gifts:

http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/alternatives/index.html

Also these from the ever dependable FlyLady:

• Women
• Men
• Children (Pre-schoolers, school-aged children, and teenagers)
• Grandparents
• Those Other Special People Who Touch Your Lives

Throughout the year Darren and I both keep a list of things we’d really like to own but can’t justify buying (eg. some books, pretty new underwear, gardening tools) and then nearer to Christmas we swap lists and agree how much we are able to spend on each other.

Last year I mentioned to D that I wanted any gifts he bought me to be second hand or home made. He managed to get me the loveliest of things from eBay: a smashing pair of black leather boots for work, a suede skirt and some second hand books about Elizabeth I.

This year we’ll be getting the kids to make cards out of last years Christmas cards I’ll probably cut out loads of festive pictures for them to stick onto card and we’ll be making nice buscuits or chutneys for our nearest and dearest to enjoy. I have been buying the odd thing from charity shops throughout the year for people if I see something a person would love and have a little stash of things in a box on top of my wardrobe but I’ve spent no more than £5 in total.

For decoration there is nothing better than decking the halls with boughs of holly (and the ivy).
Anyway Christmas is ages away! It’s still summer (sort of) so you’ll hear no more about this from me for the next few months.

My friend Beki says that her little niece is given echinacea drops in a drink each day and is very rarely sick.

I popped into the local health food shop this morning and found that a small bottle is £5 so I’m going to do a bit of research before I start forking out for it.

My kids are very healthy - they have both just had very mild colds but I can’t remember the last time either of them were sick.

As usual I’ll conduct a bit of research and see what other people think about this supplement for children.

I made a new friend today called Zoe who is also considering home education for her son and daughter who are just a few years older than mine and she lives in Worcester.
We made initially made contact via the Freedom in Education website last week and met up for a coffee today for a chat about taking pros and cons of home educating our little ones.

We had quite similar attitudes and reservations on the home education conundrum and so it was really lovely to meet someone who didn’t think I was really odd to be considering it.

She and I agreed on the following:

• We would welcome and support from the LEA incl. home visits to say whether or not our kids were on track
• How would we manage with having our kids with us 24/7 but not having the full backing of grandparents and therefore not feeling able to ask them to have them once a week
• A school-like routine would keep everyone sane and would allow dedicated hours for housework and other essential tasks.
  Zoe had thought the following framework could work…
  7am breakfast and some light housework (eg. laundry)
  9-10am learning work (eg. reading, writing, maths)
  10am: Outside for exercise and games whatever the weather
  10.30ish: Project work or continuation of the morning session
  12 Noon: Lunch time ( we thought a packed lunch would reduce the need for mum to make lunch)
  1-2pm: Arts, crafts, music (less intensive education)
  2pm til teatime: Playtime for kids and housework for parent
  Teatime could involve the whole family as not having to rush kids to bed in preparation for school start the next day.
  Weekends would have some time for planning for the following week and we liked the idea of doing work on projects.

We chatted about how my having twins would make teaching them easier than someone who had kids of differing ages but then we discussed how actually in a classroom setting there are often kids of many different ability levels and loads of them so perhaps teaching a small number isn’t so hard.

Having a local community of home educating families would be important as you could draw on other parents strengths (eg. music, art, languages, sport)
We  were both of the opinion that it makes a lot of sense  when we read that kids who are effectively home educated are ahead of their peers taught in schools.

We wondered what we would do when it came to GSCE time…

I told Zoe about Darren’s fear that our kids would be labelled ‘wierd’ and also may not have many friends but my research leads me to believe that home educated kids are often very popular with their schooled chums and are ‘cooler’ than the norm and very often the kids who do go to school are envious of their confidence and lack of involvement in school politics.

Zoe and I agreed to stay in touch and meet up perhaps with the children. We both also confessed that the opportunity to home educate becomes less appealing when thinking of the possibility of having a third child. Both of us would continue to send our kids to the local school if we became pregnant with our third!

Thanks to my husband Darren we always seem to have a ready supply of delicious frozen portions of (organic) chicken stock.

I then use it for as the base for really tasty risottos and soups, he uses it for lovely clear noodle dishes with veg and tofu (made from his Wagamama cookbook), and my mum loves it just hot on its own.

Darren (gawd bless him) loves to cook a roast chicken dinner on a Sunday afternoon. He gets an organic bird mainly because I insist that I can’t stomach the thought of an abused battery hen.

As he is preparing the meat and vegetables for the dinner we are about to eat he also starts feeding the stock pot in preparation for receiving the chicken carcass when we have eaten.

He puts in

• the ends of all the vegetables he uses in the roasting pot (leeks, parsnips, carrots and celery)
• those he uses to make stuffing (onion and sage),
• he adds to this any other veg we have hanging around and about to go ‘over’ (but not potatoes as this makes the stock all startchy and not peppers as I mentioned it gave the stock too strong a flavour).
• He chucks in a tomato,
• a bouquet garni, some bay and peppercorns,
• the bones of the bird and covers it all with water

The pot is then gently simmered for ages (2 or 3 hours) - usually until we go to bed.

The lid is kept on at the end to keep it relatively sterile and then the next morning I ladle the beautiful glisteny broth through a sieve into a large jug and then pour it into portion sized containers, label it with the date (Top Tip: have a roll of masking tape and a pen in the kitchen drawer for labelling) and shove it in the freezer.

I’m trying to decide whether I’ll send my kids to school like the majority of people do or whether I’ll keep them at home and provide their education myself with plenty of visits to interesting places.

Here are some comments from various websites/people who have experience in home educating and extoil the benefits it brings:

Read responses to the post ‘Your Top 3 Reasons for Home-educating‘ on Mumsnet

Non-schooled children often have a confidence and different outlook on life which their schooled counterparts don’t have. This partly results from the fact that they have not been continuously tested to satisfy someone-else’s agenda, not constantly measured against others, not regarded as backward or below-average in any way, been encouraged to follow their interests and have, on the whole, been treated respectfully as regards what they do and don’t want to do in life. They see their future as more under their own control than predetermined by others. Life is seen as something to look forward to - not a chore.
Alan Harris-Reid: PARENTS – TRUST YOUR CHILDREN. LET THEM BE. (Alternative title – “Am I doing the right thing?”) http://www.education-otherwise.org/Links/HE_Adult_St/Harris-Reid.htm

http://www.education-otherwise.org/Links/HE_Adult_St/EO_Member_Story.htm

There are as many reasons for this as there are families doing it. Here are a few of them: children’s ill health; unhappiness, loss of a ‘childhood’, bullying, children turning into unrecognisable aliens! Poor academic achievement despite intelligence; lack of support for learners’ needs; lack of respect for children - their personalities and gifts; the increasing stress of testing and attainment targets; poor interaction with others in schools - both children and teachers alike; narrowing of the curriculum; intense pressure; unreasonable expectation put upon children and teenagers.

In general; miserable, stressed, switched off kids. And the deep inherent feeling in parents that surely there has to be another way.

Surely a successful life in the real world after school years is not dependent on this!

You’ll be glad to know, it isn’t!

To put some other worries at rest; educating out of school is legal, you don’t have to be a teacher, your kids do make friends, there is support, you will not be alone or the only ones, children do learn, and finally home educating does work!

We, like many others, feel that there are many paths to learning. Children are inherently inquisitive people at the start of their young lives and if left to their own devices, with the normal interaction all families have with the world, it would be difficult to stop them learning! Learning is going on in whatever they are doing – playing, painting, shopping, using the computer, chatting with friends, riding their bikes, using the internet, watching Time Team, having a conversation at tea time or bedtime or in the back of the car! They ask questions all the time – unless they’ve been switched off which so often happens in school.

Many Home educators become confident that nearly all activities are ‘educational’, whether they are in the home or out in museums, parks, play centres, places of interest, library, sports centres, clubs, groups, friends’ houses.

And although the children do not follow the completely structured approach they are bright, intelligent people who are developing their skills all the time.
http://www.education-otherwise.org/Links/HE_Adult_St/rmount.htm

In my quest to figure out whether home-education or sending the children to school when they are five is best for our family I came across this case study in Margot Sunderland’s book ‘The Science of Parenting’. It really makes me want to keep my kids at home to learn.
How Bullying Begins

Joe is being bullied by his brother Sam, aged seven. Sam is suffering from painful sibling rivalry and isn’t being helped with it by his parents. Mum tells them to stop fighting, but in a half-hearted way. When she’s not looking, Sam hurts Joe, again and again. Joe sometimes runs to Mum and she gives him a cuddle and tells Same to stop picking on his little brother. But there is rarely a clear and firm consequence for Sam. Sam sometimes gets smacked by his Dad for being mean to Joe, but this endorses his own hitting responses.

Every time Joe gets hit, he learns more about hitting, and his brain starts to alter to be more suited to living in a bullying world. He stops asking for help with it from his Mum. One day Joes thumps George, a little boy who is crying in the playground. Instead of feeling powerless like he does with his brother, Joe suddenly feels very strong. George’s parents and the school are concerned and tell Joe off, but they just don’t have the staff to protect the children properly in the playground.

When George goes home, he starts to pick on his toddler brother, and so it goes on - the epidemic spreading from home to school and school to home and back again.

I’ve just been given a calendar for 2007 which has lots of nice pictures and quotes about motherhood. Here are some of the less cheesey ones.

‘Children should be educated and instructed in the principals of freedom.’
- John Adams

‘My mother had a great deal of trouble with me but I think she enjoyed it.‘
- Mark Twain

‘Thou are thy mother’s glass, and she in thee calls back the lovely April of her prime’
- William Shakespeare

‘The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom‘
- Henery Ward Beecher

‘You have chosen the roughest road, but it leads straight to the hilltop.‘
- John Bunyan

‘The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in mother, home and heaven.‘
-William Goldsmith Brown

‘All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.‘
-Abraham Lincoln

‘A mother understands what a child does not say.‘
- Jewish Proverb

‘I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship‘
- Louisa May Alcott